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Rakes
Forum Admin Offline
#1 Posted : Thursday, January 31, 2013 9:58:06 AM(UTC)
Admin Happy Ankle


Rank: Administration

Joined: 1/29/2011(UTC)
Posts: 267
Points: 852
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Location: USA

Thanks: 99 times
Was thanked: 66 time(s) in 53 post(s)
Rakes


User – a person stepping on a rake.
Pot ("novice") – a beginning level user who has never stepped on any rake and is sure there are no rakes.
Lamer – a user who regularly steps on a rake, but is still sure there are no rakes in the world.
Narrow specialist – a user who is familiar with the rake, having stepped on the same rake many times.
Wide specialist – a user with more than two bumps on his forehead.
Programmer – a person for whom the result of stepping on the rake is more important than the process; when tired of stepping on somebody else's rakes, the programmer creates his own.
Advanced programmer – a programmer skilled at stepping on each rake no more than two times.
Systems Administrator – the one placing the rakes in such a way to be stepped on.
Copyright – a new concept limiting the quantity of rakes available for stepping on by a user’s financial level.
Gamer – those for whom the process of stepping on the rake is more important than the result; usually can’t create rakes.
Cheater – a kind of gamer; usually steps on a rake with a foam-rubber-covered handle and usually steps on it no more than one time.
Hacker – a user who is able to step on the rake even if the rake is hidden in a shed (barn).
Hacker-idealist – a user who nobly fights for the right of everyone to step on an unlimited number of rakes.
Microsoft – corporation; well-known, world-wide leader, rake manufacturer.
Bill Gates – mythological being from the programmer’s folklore; wicked spirit, protector, patron of rakes.
Upgrade – permanent process of repeatedly throwing money away buying new rakes, each one capable of hitting stronger than the previous ones.
Beta-version – version in which the rakes are visible even to the unaided eye.
Release – version where fallen leaves hide the rakes.
Compatibility – principle allowing a new rake to exactly over the bump of the previous rake.
Assembler – programming language allowing a user to step on rakes several million times per second.
Local network – technology enabling a user to be hit in forehead even if somebody else is stepping on the rake.
Internet – technology allowing a user to step on rake existing in another part of the world.
Network conference – technology allowing to step not only on his own rake but on other's rakes as well.
Russian locales – a present souvenir set for Russian Internet users.
Japanese locales – the same as above but for Japanese users.
Chinese locales – you understand…)
Friendly interface – a rubber cover for the rake handle.
Flexible, customizable, adjustable interface – a rubber cover for the rake handle that a user can adjust for his own forehead.
Graphical interface – rake that changes the color and intensity of sparks after a user steps on the rakes.
Non-robust system – a rakes that hits the user even if he didn't step on it.
Robust system – a rakes that beats a user in the forehead even if the user is standing with his back to the rake.
Multitasking – concept allowing a user to step on several rakes simultaneously.
Object-oriented programming – method of creating rakes using a Russian principle of Matryoshka.
Manual – a books describing different ways to step on rakes; never used by Lamers and Hackers; An advanced programmer uses a manual only after he has stepped on a rake for the second time.
Technical support – a service giving advises about what to do after a user steps on the rake; usually, the first advice is to step on the same rake and compare the feelings.
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